Now before you come at me, hear me out. I love me some holiday hubbub. Like legit LOVE. If I had it my way, I would sing every carol, hang every strand of lights (well, maybe hire it done because ladders and me, we’re a non-starter), go to every holiday production, beautifully wrap every present to put on display for weeks. But I don’t have it my way. AT.ALL. Instead, I have two little men that literally lose their minds during the holiday season. They also lose control of their bodies and impulses which makes it a conflicted time for this holiday-loving mama, to say the very least.

When my oldest son was THREE, he went on a personal mission to test Santa’s naughty vs nice radar so hard that Santa had to leave him nothing but a loving note that perhaps we could try again next year. Then last year when he was six, he had a five-alarm meltdown after his holiday concert (can you say sensory overload?) that resulted in a broken lamp and a panicked last minute Santa change request for a functional one. (He reasoned that while he really, really wanted that Power Wheel, he actually *needed* a lamp, which simultaneously broke and exploded my mama heart). Both boys teamed up last year to rip open every wrapped present under the tree several weeks early, at which time I learned that gifts need to be kept hidden in a secret vault until after bedtime on Christmas Eve, when mommy will frantically wrap them until dawn so they can be ripped open within seconds.

Then there was this year when I hauled our children and ABA therapist to the grocery store on a cold, snowy day to buy my very favorite super smelly pine tree, which we shoddily decorated as a family as my OCD tendencies spiked off the charts and I tried to pretend the ridiculous ornament cluster on the tree was something I could live with for the next month — it definitely wasn’t, btw — only to read this little charmer three minutes later about how ALL THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS are contributing to all the crap my kids melt down about for the entire season! Imagine the fun mom guilt that followed every single meltdown: *I bet it was the tree/wreath/gingerbread candle/lights/10 Christmas cookies.* Good times…

So let’s just say that there are a few things I’ve learned about navigating the holidays with sensory kiddos in these last few years:

1. Since I hang my hat on authenticity, I should auto-filter out all holiday cards with messages about peace. That is NOT our reality up in here.
2. What I think will be fun and festive to celebrate the holidays is NOT likely to work out with the needs of my kiddos, so it’s best to scale waaaaay back on the activities and travel we do.
3. There are — thank you baby Jesus! — increasing alternatives for low sensory options. We just attended one last night at the Denver Zoo, and I have to say the less flashing/no crowds/quiet music vibe was just as appreciated my neuro-typical mama as the littles. Utilizing off hours to visit Santa was another big win this year!

As the lights, smells, festivities and holiday fare come to a close, there’s always a little sadness that it’s over. But there’s also that sigh of relief that we made it through with a few new lessons learned and happy memories. For some of us, the volume of joy we expect and the joy we experience are at odds, but it’s still there. So we march forward into New Year Bootcamp — the return to structure, school, sensory baselines. May the transition be smooth, fellow sensory families, and the spirits be strong…I mean, bright!